*sigh* I just can’t seem to help it. Every time I talk to him on the phone, I squeal and blush and just feel happy. I am really excited about being able to go down to him in February. I’m kind of hoping that there will still be a little snow and we can cuddle with cocoa! *blush* He is strong and smart and sweet and…and…gah!! *beats self again*

Everything about him draws me in! I mean, it’s just…stupid! I love every moment of it! I love his laugh! I love that he thinks I’m pretty! I love his eyes! I love his fur! I love his smile! I love his freakin’ nose! I am stupid! I am..going crazy without him… *sighs* Every moment away from him is like being away from my pack. And these days, not only am I away from my mate, I am also away from my pack.

Some days I just don’t know what the purpose is…these days have become one dimensional and dull…then he texts me…and I can’t help but want to keep going. Even if it’s just to hear him laugh one more time. Or to hear him say ‘taters! He is just…my version of perfect…

I must admit that there have been a few times when I kind of doubted his honesty but those moments passed quickly. I am almost positive that most of those moments were simply my own insecurity. I, honestly, have no idea what he sees in me. When I look in the mirror, I see a frump girl who will never amount to anything…but he sees someone beautiful…I just don’t know why he would love me. I love him so much that I get scared of I sometimes. I have decided that if he does hurt me, he will be worth it. Any time that I can be with him will be worth any pain that he may cause me, accidental or otherwise.

I am 99% sure he would never hurt me intentionally and I know that as soon as I can hold him in my arms then I will be 200% sure. *chuckles* That’s right! 200%!!!

Well, thanks for reading! Until next time…~C’est la vie!~

That’s right! I finally got a job! I am not an employee for the well known and ever popular, SUBWAY!! Whoot! They called me today to let me know that they were hiring me and I get my schedule tomorrow! I am so excited!

Mike is still amazing! I am going down to visit him in February during his break at school!

James is moving up to Idaho in February. I found out that he’s Mormon and so now I understand him a bit better. *says teasingly* Silly Mormon! *sighs* He also asked me to marry him. He is such a complicated little bugger!!

Mike is adorable when he talks. *giggles* He says ‘taters instead of potatoes! It’s soooo funny!

Anyway, I’m too pumped to go into anymore detail! Thank’s for reading! Until next time…~C’est la vie!~

It’s getting to the point where I almost want to say t0 hell with this and become a prostitute…but I won’t because A.) I never could do that and B.) Mike. *blush* I don’t think he’d like a bunch of men pawing all over me…*whispers* unlike Kerry… >.>

Moving on, my phone bill is once again rolling around and it’s getting to the point that I want to have my phone shut off but if I do that then any potential employee will have no way, other than e-mail, to contact me. This is getting very tiring. I wish that I could just have my old job back. I will gladly work fast food if it means a paycheck. Things just aren’t looking great right now but I know that with some faith and trust (no pixie dust) things will turn out all right.

Thanksgiving is coming up and I’ve been told that my Aunt Susan has said that I could come over to her house for they’re celebration. I would be happy to go but for some reason I feel as if she is a little put off with me at the moment. I’m not 100% sure why and I’m too afraid to ask her…I just don’t know what to do. I know that I should just grow a pair and talk to her but at the same time it’s like…what if she’s so angry she doesn’t want to even see me. *sigh* I just don’t know. I’m a coward. I know it.

Anyhow, I must be off. I have tons of surveys to take. Thank you for reading! Until next time…~C’est la Vie!~

First, we shall discuss Pumpkin shall we? So, while my cousin and I were put of the room, Pumpkin got onto the laptop. She likes to sleep on our laptops because of the heat. Well, while she was laying there she. somehow, found her way onto Amazon.com and set up a profile for my cousin. After that she selected, ordered and got a discount on Supreme Commander for the PC! She qualified for free shipping and handling! It was on the checkout page when my cousin came back. She is such a hacker kitty!

As for my tongue..this is going to be brief. I got my tongue pierced under odd circumstances and that is all I’m going to say.

Now, for Mike and I. Today, November 22, 2009 at 5:42pm, Mike told me that he loved me. I have told him before, as you would know if you have read the other posts, that I love him. I knew that he wouldn’t say it back at the time. I knew that i wasn’t supposed to say it but I could not help myself. Anyhow, today he said it and I cried. It was the most amazing feeling it that I have ever had. I get butterflies when I think of him and, if he calls me a pet name, he automatically wins at anything. He called me and told me he missed me…I turned beet red and squealed..*sigh* I’m such a girl…>.>’ I am trying to find a way to get down to see him soon. I am so eager to be in his arms and be able to pet my werewolf.  ^-^ Lately, I have been walking on air. Everything about life is good. I miss him though we have never met and it just feels like I belong with him. I have felt that before but…something about Mike is pulling me closer…I feel

like I should just go with where ever this new tide takes me but, at the same time, I am so terrified to do that. I mean, the last time I gave in to the tide it lead me into Louisiana and into heartache.

Every time I talk to him, every doubt I even think of having evaporates and all I can think of is how it would feel to have his arms around me. I am waiting very impatiently to be able to snuggle with him throughout the night! Or to be able to watch a scary movie with him so that I have a reason to be in his lap.

On the other hand, I am so worried that I won’t be what he thinks I am…I try to be as real as possible with him but I’m not sure if I am doing as great as I think I’m doing.  I hope that I am but I am so scared that it’ll be just like Kerry. He

told me after like 3 months of me being there that I was a different person then how I seemed over text and talking on the phone. I didn’t realize that I was being any different but I guess I was. Mike is the sweetest man that I have ever met and I feel like I am the luckiest woman in the world!! He is a just like my fairy tale prince and he wants to be with me. Me, of all the women out there! I am simple, I am plain, I am not worth him. He is a god and I am but a mortal. He is so…perfect. That’s the only word I can come up with. Mike is everything that I have been looking for in a guy. He is sweet, charming, intelligent, ambitious, accepts me for who I am, handsome, caring, a family man and isn’t against cuddling! ^-^ I love him! I love Mike! ^-^ It feels good to say…erm…type…that! I really hope that things work out this time!

Thank you for reading. Until next time…~C’est la vie!~

Anyhow, I wrote this poem as I thought of him this morning. I haven’t edited anything out. I simply let my emotion flow out onto the screen and this is what I came up with.

My Everything
Krista Franz

I love you my heart
I love you my air
I love you my soul
I love you my light
I love you my night
I love you my life
I love you my aqua
I love you my breath
I love you my blood
I love you my mind
I love you my perfection
I love you my sweet
I love you my dear
I love you my darling
I love you my werewolf
I love you my world
I love you my universe
I love you my ocean
I love you my mountains
I love you my wings
I love you my sun
I love you my moon
I love you my sunrise
I love you my sunset
I love you my past
I love you my present
I love you my future

Epilogue

July 1738
“You’re to be nothing but a common trollop!”
Alana cringed as her mother’s words slashed at her heart like a knife. Her mother had discovered that the extra money her daughter was bringing home was from her work as a prostitute. Marcie had been ranting and raving for hours about the dangers of such work. Finally, Alana calmly stated that if she stopped what she was doing then they would both starve. Knowing what would happen if she listened to her mother, Alana then disobeyed her mother and went out the next night to do the same thing she had been doing for the past few months. The next morning her mother found out and Marcie simply glared at the girl. As the child set the seventeen gold pieces on the dining table that she had recieved from her client last night, Marcie told her that she was never allowed in her house again and promptly pushed Alana back out the front door and locked it.
Alana sat on her mother’s stoop until dawn only to realize that her mother was not bluffing and would not allow her back into the house. When the realization came upon her she stood up and flung herself down the path into the forest. The girl knew all of the stories about Satan’s demons in the forest, however, none of these warnings seemed relavent to her as she ran straight into the thick of the gnarled old trees. Alana stumbled many times and, eventually, she fell onto the hard forest floor. She lay there for hours sobbing uncontrollably. As she finally regained her composure, she realized that she was laying on the muddy floor and that twilight was falling. Knowing that the woods were dangerous after dark, she began to pick herself up, only to find that she had twisted her ankle. She gritted her teeth and tested the foot again only to find that it was not fit to walk on. At thirteen, she had no idea what to do and so she began crying again. The young girl cried for about fifteen minutes when a gentle hand touched her shoulder. Startled, she looked up from her seat on the forest floor and her pale green eyes locked on the most brilliant pair of eyes she had ever seen.
The shining orbs looks as if Spring herself had crushed her newest leaves into a fine powder, added the first dew drops of the day and mixed it into a paste to paint into this man’s fance. She gasped softly as she realized that there was genuine concern glowing in their depths. Blinking a few times, she pulled her gaze back and realized that it was a man who had crouched down next to her. His hair hung just past his ears and held a reddish brown hue. If he moved, even slighty, his hair shimmered in the faint evening light and made his handsome features dance in between the shafts of moonlight and shadow.
He gallantly offered her his hand and looked at her expectantly as he said, “May I help you up, mistress?”
Though his voice reminded her of the chapel bells that called the faithful to the church doors every Sunday, she shrank from the proffered hand in fear. All of the tales about Satan’s demons came back to her in a rush. She scrambled to her feet and began backing away from the magnificent creature. She shivered visibly as she stumbled over several uplifted roots. Terror emanated from her young form as she muttered something unintelligable. Then, to the man’s consternation, she turned and fled through the thick forest, seemingly headless of the branches scratching her face, the thorns tearing at her skirt and the pain that seared red hot through her injured ankle.
Had Alana taken a moment to glance behind her, she would have seen the pained expression that had fallen upon the man’s aristocratic face. He watched as she fled in unabated terror. He shook his head, so slightly that it would have taken the keenest of eyes to see it, as he commited her features to memory. The handsome man could not make sense of what he was feeling but he knew that he would see the girl again. More than that, he knew that he had to see her again.

-Shadows of Disbelief by Krista Franz

Thank you for reading. Until next time…~C’est la vie!~

Alastor’s Poem
Krista Franz

Where will their god be when they are burning
In the fury of his retaliation?
When all hope in their hearts has been lost
In the glory of his retribution
Who will be their god then?
He will be their god then!
It will be then that they realize
They should have been worshiping him
They will beg for his mercy
And none shall come from the God they shunned
They shall scream for him to hear them out
They will cry out to him for forgiveness
None shall be granted to them
An endless onslaught of retribution
Shall rain down upon them
Those who did not realize their true lord and master
Until the moment that it was too late to repent.
He shall have me with him.
For if he does not I shall simply hide in the shadows
Silent yet watchful
Invisible yet faithful
He will allow his pack to bring others
So that spouses shall not be left behind
In the heat of his all powerful judgment
This is good.
A great way to keep the pack alive and well
It shall also keep the pack happy
And thus less likely to delve into dissension
He has so declared himself our Alpha
I always deffered to him anyway
He shall deal with each of us individually
He shall make us whole again
Though it is easy to tell that we are not yet a true pack
By the way that he speaks of the pack
Of course, not all the pack has found him
And he as only recently found those who have
As of this moment, he is an alpha male
Perched upon his cliff
Howling his call to his fellow pack mates
Slowly, they come and, slowly, they accept him his as their leader
Someday soon, we shall all be together again
And we shall sing the song of eternal friendship and loyalty
For any and all to hear
And all who listen will tremble in fear and admiration
For that which we stand for.
I, Temperance Fiea, am, at this moment,
Swearing my fealty to him, Alastor Vega.
I am, a this moment, claiming him as my pack leader.
I am, at this moment, swearing to follow him into whatever
And to go where ever it is that he asks me to go.
I swear by my very soul
I swear by my name
I swear by my very love for those within this pack
The I will do what it takes to bring us and keep us together.
I will follow him, Alastor Vega, into Hell and beyond.

But to make up for these wasted days, I have found a little job. It’s as one of those online survey takers. If you want to join (its free) I will post a link at the bottom of the page. It’s just taking surveys and getting money for it. There are a lot of good offers that are free or very discounted. So, if you have money and would like bargains or a free way to earn a bit more then this is a pretty good site. I just started it today and have already earned like $7.00. I know that doesn’t sound like much but when you think of it. I just earned $7.00 for sitting on my butt playing around on my computer in my pajamas. As I look at it, money is money. I don’t have any now so any little bit helps.

Moving onto the Mike topic! (It’s my favorite!) He is adorable!! OMG! I feel really bad because his right ear is messed up. He can’t hear out of it and yesterday it was hurting him. He doesn’t know what happened to it or why it’s being so dumb! His friend said that he may have blown his eardrum. I hope not! First off, that is really bad. Second, he doesn’t have the money to get it fixed. I really hope it gets better soon. Besides that though, he is so amazing! I have never been treated so well by anyone. He treats me as if I were treasure. Something to be cared for and looked after. Its so…new to me. He is smart, sweet, family oriented and a real gentleman. He is physically as well as emotionally, mentally and spiritually attractive. We have both explored several religions and agree that each has its own benefits and downfalls. We both agree about the legalization of marijuana, though smoking it is not on our list of “Things I Most Want To Do”. He used to smoke pot but he had a medical issue that caused him to decide against smoking it anymore. It wasn’t because the marijuana caused it but simply his own personal choice. There are so many things that we have in common and even our differences draw us closer. He is such a math-man! I am an English addict!  I am going to once again state that I believe that I am falling for him, if I have not already fallen. However, as amazing as he is…I am still afraid of saying those serious three words again. I have been in love before and it just wrapped its thorny vines around my throat and tried to choke me to death with its overpowering grip and I do not wish to experience that again. There is something about Mike though…I want to say it more than anything. But for now, I will settle for being able to tell him that I waffle him! He knows what I mean!

My traveling companions have remained the same. Though I have made contact with a few more friends from high school they cannot be claimed as companions just yet. For a refresher, my companions consist of Logan, Jasmine, Jennifer, Shayd, Pumpkin, Mike, Stephan, Jamie and James. If I have not explained any of these people to you, let me know. I am providing a picture of Pumpkin here!

Oh! And I must tell you all that Jennifer has found her own Mike! lol His name is..umm…his SN is GreggyBear. That’s all I can legally tell you without his consent. They are adorable together! She had made him a hat and a scarf that she will be sending to him sometime soon! How cute is that!!

Anywho, that is the story thus far. Thank you for reading…~C’est la vie!~

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Perfection
Krista Franz

My own brand of perfection
Has finally shown itself
And he has healed me
Though I have only known him
For a short while
It seems as if he has
Always been here
I love him so
He is my perfection
There is something
About his smile,
His touch,
The way his eyes light up,
All of it makes me so happy
He makes me happy
I’m thinking that he
Is the one just for me
The one who will be there
When I need someone
The one who will smile
When I’ve had a bad day
I can’t imagine life
Without my perfection
There is nothing in this life
That could compare to him
He has made my heart sing
And my soul rejoice
My own brand of perfection
I have found you
And I will not lose you!

Thank you for reading. Until next time…~C’est la vie!~